My stomach pulsated and I shivered with anxiety as I stared at my phone and prepared to call casting agencies as part of an assignment for class. This is fear of public speaking ramped up to an irrational level, and I experience it almost every time I need to speak to someone I don’t know. Whether I need to ask an employee in a store for help, need to call a company of which I’m a customer, have met someone in my line of work and want to introduce myself to them, or want to speak to someone I’m only acquainted with: I experience anxiety in varying degrees. Social anxiety is something that I have always struggled, and I think it’s time that I finally eliminated this fear from my truth.

There comes a time when you must look at your life, and recognize what’s working and what’s not. If there is an artificial (by artificial I mean an aspect of yourself that has been caused by fear and insecurity, and which doesn’t actually reflect who you are) trait which has held you back and prevented you from accomplishing what you want to accomplish in life, maybe it’s time that you take a drive somewhere deep into the country, and leave that artificial trait on the side of the road. Tell it you’ll be back in a minute, and then never come back. Once neglected and ignored, that trait will eventually wither up and die from starvation, and you’ll go on to live your life –  forgetting why you needed it to begin with. This is a rather morbid image, but it is an image you can grasp on to, and it gives me a delicious sense of satisfaction to picture myself abandoning my social anxiety on the side of the road – insert evil laugh here.

Bottom line: I use my social anxiety like a childhood toy, and I rely on it to protect me and prevent me from getting hurt. I no longer sleep with my purple teddy bear Martha because I grew up and realized that I could protect myself from my own nightmares. Well, I can protect myself from life’s challenges too… all by myself. I no longer need this irrational fear of people to protect me. I am a person, and I have something to contribute to this great big world of people who are just like me. That’s the key isn’t? We’re all just people who are trying to navigate this crazy world while each searching for our own unique definition of happiness.