Every fiber in my entire being was urging me to run away. My mind worked quickly to find an excuse that would get met out of this. How could I sing in front of my entire class? “I’m not a singer” I told my acting coach. My eyes darted between the faces of my colleagues, and then (in that moment of panic) I realized something huge. There was no contempt, smugness, or amusement in this room. Why had I even expected there to be (my own self-perception probably had a lot to do with it)? What I was met with, at that moment, was support. Just as I am always rooting for the members of my class when they break through their creative blocks, so too were my classmates rooting for me. I was not alone. I am not alone. There was no reason for me to be afraid. It would be impossible for me to embarrass myself in front of a group of individuals who were so behind my growth in every way. You can do this, I said to myself as I closed the door to the sound booth, put on my headphones and positioned myself in front of the mike. You can do this. “Don’t worry about failing” I told myself, and I didn’t. By the end of the short coaching I had my whole body involved in the song, I was smiling, and I was having fun.” I’ve always wanted to learn to sing, and even if some of my notes were flat… I sang in front of an audience today and it felt great.

My Impulse was to run, but fear is not something I value. A value is defined as “the importance or preciousness of something.” If I were to name my top 10 values they would be:

1. Abundance: I want to live my life with the belief that there is always enough to go around, and that I can live the life I’ve always dreamed of.
2. Fearlessness: I no longer want to be afraid of the opinions of other people, or be intimidated by someone’s status or confidence. I have a right to be heard, and the right to do what I love.
3. Confidence: I want to be completely secure in who I am, and not be afraid to express myself. I have something say, and I want others to listen.
4. Fitness: Daily exercise is very important to me. I believe that fitness is very important in maintaining productivity, and in building character.
5. Friendship: I want to open myself up more to others, and allow for relationships to form. I also want to acknowledge that friendship is not the most important thing. I need to learn to love myself before I can properly begin to love others.
6. Gratitude: Every morning I want to take a moment to acknowledge everything that I am grateful for. By focusing on the positive instead of the negative, more positivity will be attracted into my life.
7. Happiness: I want to appreciate the value in every moment. I believe that true happiness can only occur when you stop focusing on the past or future, and live in the present moment.
8. Persistence: This is the only way to get what I want out of life, out of this blog, out of every challenge I set for myself. I don’t believe in giving up.
9. Silliness: Laughter is so important in life, and I think that it is important to laugh everyday and as much as possible.
10. Imagination: As a writer and actor imagination is very important to me. I will never allow the kid in me to slip away.

As I belted my little heart out, I encouraged my belief in the importance of Silliness, Confidence, and Fearlessness. Today I did something that made me very uncomfortable, and I’ve grown so much because of that one decision to experiment and to trust.

Thank you to everyone who was involved. It really meant a lot to me.