My audition went extremely well. I’ve actually never had such a fun time auditioning for anything before. I was feeling really nervous, but then my acting coach paid me a surprise visit and took me out of class to help me to put the finishing touches on my prepared monologue. Afterwards I was feeling confident, and extremely excited.

As I returned to my seat in my scene study class, despite this initial burst of confidence, I was visited by two frequent visitors: doubt and self-sabotage. My mind started to come up with elaborate examples where I forgot my lines and blew the audition. Thank you brain. Normally I would have allowed those thoughts to consume me, but on that day I decided to do something out of the ordinary. I acknowledged those voices, and then I put them away. I said to myself: “In what way is imagining all the ways that I could screw up, helping me?” I decided that it wasn’t, and then I proactively began thinking about the audition going really well. Every time I felt those doubtful feelings returning, I breathed deeply into my abdomen and concentrated on replacing them with positive thoughts. When it was finally my turn to audition, I was only excited.

When I got into the audition room, I smiled at all the judges and then walked straight towards the chair on the stage and moved it to the position I wanted it in. The old me would have apologized for I don’t know what, but this new me claimed my space and owned it. They told me to start whenever I was ready, and I took the time I needed. I closed my eyes, I breathed, I imagined the room that I was standing in for my scene, and then I imagined the person I was talking to. When I felt I was ready, I started. I have never felt so good about an audition performance.

There was one moment during the monologue when I suddenly became aware that I was doing well. When this happened, I quickly acknowledged that I had fallen out, forgave myself, and in less than two seconds I allowed myself to become re-immersed in the scene.

I learned so much from this experience. I learned that it’s okay to not be perfect, and I also learned that there is no such thing as perfect. I learned that I am enough, and (most importantly) I learned that I have the power to change my thoughts and therefore who I have always believed myself to be.