This week is all about training myself to be a principle-centered person. To be principle centered is to know who you are, and to be confident in your ability to live by your values. The goal is to not be reliant on anyone else for your own happiness. Steven Covey, in his book, outlined several different centers which people operate from. Because I think it is important to know where you’re coming from before you can decide where you’re going, I have decided to share with you the centers which I currently operate from (the information in this table is taken directly from “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” You can find this table at the end of this post.
As we go deep within ourselves, as we understand and realign our basic paradigms to bring them in harmony with correct principles, we create both an effective, empowering center and a clear lens through which we can see the world. We can then focus that lens on how we, as unique individuals, relate to the world.
– Stephen Covey
To become a principle centered person:
- My feelings of security need to be grounded in myself – unchanged by external forces. This sort of security would allow me to see change as something exciting rather than scary, and as an opportunity to make a difference. Without taking risks, it is impossible to move forwards in life.
- In all of my decisions, I’m need to be able to look forward and see the bigger picture. My decisions must be based on my values, and on my belief that great things are coming my way.
- I must act proactively, and not re-actively. I must see the world as being filled with opportunities, and I am fully aware of my own ability to place my mark on history’s pages.
- My power must come completely from within, and my progress and self-worth cannot be hindered or skewed by the opinions and judgements of those around me.
Bottom line, in life I need to stop putting so much emphasis on me, and start being more aware of my ability to influence those around me. That’s a scary thing to acknowledge – that as a human being you have the power to change the life of another. This is something that I’ve shied away from my entire life, but I think that it’s something that I need to embrace now.
Tomorrow I’d like to focus on security, and in learning how to feel secure in everything that I am. Security has a lot to do with creating an internal comfort zone – something that I have been actively working on over the last couple of weeks. I also created an external comfort zone in my home that I’m really excited about – it’s my office space. I’ve decorated the area with posters of plays that I’ve been involved in, a movie poster for the screenplay I’m writing, my vision board, and an assortment of books. Sitting at my desk gets me excited to work. I think we all need a space like this – some place where we can be ourselves, and where we are genuinely unafraid to make a mistake.
Tomorrow I promise to take a risk, and do something that is completely out of my comfort zone. I don’t know what it’s going to be yet… but I’m excited to share the results of this experiment tomorrow.
Where my center currently lies:
| Center | Security | Guidance | Wisdom | Power |
| Spouse Centered | – Your feelings of security are based on the way your spouse treats you. – You are highly vulnerable to the moods and feelings of your spouse.
– There is a deep disappointment resulting in withdrawal or conflict when your spouse disagrees with your or does not meet your expectations. |
– Your direction comes from your own needs and wants and from those of your spouse. | – Your life perspective surrounds things which may positively or negatively influence your spouse or your relationship. | – Your power to act is limited by weaknesses in your spouse and in yourself. |
| Work Centered | – You tend to define yourself by your occupational role.– You are only comfortable when you are working. | – You make your decisions based on the needs and expectations of your work. | – You tend to be limited to your work role. – You see your work as your life. | -Your actions are limited by work role models, occupational opportunities, organizational constraints, your boss’s perceptions, and your possible inability at some point in your life to do that particular work. |
| Friend Centered | – Your security is a function of the social mirror.– You are highly dependent on the opinions of others. | – Your decision-making criterion is “What wil they think?”– You are easily embarrassed. | – You see the world through a social lens. | – You are limited by your social comfort zone. -Your actions are as fickle as opinion. |