I wanted to talk a little bit about creating an internal comfort zone inside of your own body. In other words: being comfortable/confident in your own skin. Here’s some honesty for you: even though, logically, I know that I am in good shape, sometimes (when I eat something that is bad for me) my perception of my body becomes skewed and all I can see are the imperfections. I see the fat pockets that I wouldn’t notice if I were in a good and unclouded mood. Maybe those imperfections don’t even exist. Maybe what I see is a completely imagined reality. It’s strange to think about. The idea that your emotions have the power to make you genuinely see something that isn’t there, or believe something that isn’t true. Our emotions are so powerful – it’s scary to think about.

This is how I was feeling today, and I hate it. So how do I prevent my emotions from skewing reality? How can I stay grounded, and not let my self-worth become dictated by my body. How do I feel confident, not because of how I look, but because of who I am?

Let’s jump backwards in time. A young Christine (12 years old) prepares for her grade six graduation. She has picked out a simple blue dress with two inch thick straps. The sky blue fabric falls down her body in a straight line. It’s the perfect dress for a 12 year old, and she feels beautiful. Her mom has also made a shawl for her out of transparent fabric that is decorated with a beautiful cloud design. Christine’s hair is brushed until smooth, and half of it is pulled back into a half pony tail. Then, her mom helps her to put makeup on for the first time. It’s not a lot, but Christine get’s excited as she carefully puts her mother’s mascara on her eyelashes. Stepping back, and looking into the mirror, Christine carefully arranges the shawl over her shoulders. She’s ready to go to her grade six graduation.

They pull up in front of her elementary school, and Christine confidently gets out of the car. She’s excited to show everyone her beautiful graduation dress. Her mom drives away, and as Christine walks into the decorated gymnasium her stomach suddenly drops. Some of the girls are dressed so much more extravagantly than she is. She hears that one of the girls has a dress that cost $300. She looks down at her simple blue dress, and suddenly feels very insecure. No longer proud, Christine immediately loses her confidence and her belief in her beauty.

Can anyone relate to this story?

Here’s what I’m trying to figure out. What can you do to train yourself to be unaffected by the people around you? If you’re feeling confident and beautiful, what can you do to maintain that feeling even when in a room with people who you consider to be more confident or more beautiful than you. I frequently let the accomplishments of others diminish my own accomplishments, and I don’t want to allow myself to do that anymore.

I think the key is to separate your confidence and beauty from your physical appearance. First thing in the morning, before you’ve showered or anything, it’s still possible to be confident and beautiful – both of these things are inside of you. Only when you stop looking outside yourself for justification and for love, can you truly love and accept yourself. There’s the catch 22 – no one will see you as confident and beautiful until you begin to see yourself that way.

I’m having a hard time keeping this post organized and focused, because there is so much I want to talk about. Let’s bring it back to the beginning, and wrap it up. Our emotions have the ability to shape our reality. The secret, then, to feeling comfordent in your body and in your beauty is creating an internal comfort zone where you can only see yourself in a certain way. When you’re in a bad or self-defeating mood, it can be really hard to get out of it – but that’s what you need to train yourself to do. You need to change your self talk, and as much as you want to be miserable, angry at yourself, or insecure – you need to choose to feel confident and beautiful (even if you don’t believe it initially, with practice you will). With practice you will comfortably and unquestionably live in that zone.

Easier said than done.