On Friday I had a conversation with one of my acting coaches (and mentor) Jill Morrison. The topic of this conversation was the attributes of a successful person. I am currently in the process of getting my headshots and applying to agencies and, to be perfectly honest, I’m scared. By getting my headshots, signing with an agent, and auditioning for roles I am officially declaring myself a professional actress. This is of course what I have been working towards, but the next step is definitely intimidating. This brings me to the first attribute… you need to believe in yourself. For me, this is easier said than done. When I think about other people paying me large amounts of money, my heart begins to accelerate. Am I worth the $7000/ a month that I have set it as my goal to be earning by January 2013? Am I worthy? What do I have that couldn’t easily be found somewhere else? It’s a bit of a strange one to get your head around, why is it so difficult to believe in your own abilities and your own worth? Maybe I’m assuming, and you have no issue with this whatsoever, but I do so I am going to do some exploration and self-analysis.

When did I first experience, or recognize the experience, of this emotion? I had my very first job when I was 17 years old, I worked at Wal*Mart as a “customer service representative.” It’s sort of funny to look back, and remember how proud of that title I felt.  I made above medium wage (by maybe $0.20), and felt guilty because I was worried that I might be making more than some of my co-workers. This means that my issues with money predate my first job. Growing up, money was in short supply. I wore clothing from Frenchies (a thrift store) and lived in subsidized housing; however, I don’t believe I was ever conscious of my mother’s financial situation.  Pinpointing exactly where this insecurity was born is difficult, but it’s definitely there – and it manifests itself through my behavior in an assortment of ways. On more than one occasion, I have neglected to submit receipts for items I have purchased for a company so that I can receive a refund. My completely irrational mind will search and discover a mistake I think I have made in the past that cost the company money, and so I absorb the cost to make up for my error.  If you were to add up all of the times I have done this, I have probably absorbed around $200.00 worth of company costs (maybe more)… ouch, but keep in mind this is over a lifetime of work. Oh yeah, I’m only 23… I’m ready to admit it, I have a problem!

Do any of you have any advice? There is absolutely no way I will ever be able to make $7000 a month as an actor if I don’t throw out this destructive behavior, and leave it behind me once and for all. I think a situation like this calls for some positive affirmations. Over the next week, I promise to repeat the following statements to myself when I wake up in the morning, before I go to bed, and sporadically throughout the day.

Here we go:

“I make $7,000 a month as an actor, and my work ethic and talent are worth every penny.”

“Abundance is a reflection of self-worth. I love myself and I believe in myself”

“There is more than enough to go around. I am deserving of my successes.”

With the first affirmation, I once heard that if you start referring to things in the present tense instead of future tense you can trick your brain into believing that it already has that thing it desires. “What you believe, you can achieve “ Napoleon Hill– the quotes in this area are numerous. Genuinely believe that what you desire is already true, and the universe will rearrange itself to make this belief a reality. Also, that which is referred to as “in the future” will always remain in the future – “Some day” will never happen, I promise you.

Going way back to the beginning of this post, successful people also believe in a higher power. I am a fan of Abraham Hicks, and so I like to think of this higher power as source energy. Bottom line, I don’t believe that life happens by chance. You are in control of your thoughts, and you are in control of your life. If there is an area in your life for which you feel insecure, write some affirmations. See what happens – it can’t hurt.

The Positivity Project Facebook Page

I also wanted to update you on some changes that are going to be taking place with my facebook page.  You may have noticed that the link for the success journal has disappeared off this blog. That’s because I am moving the success journal is going to be moving to the facebook page. Visit the page, and there will be an opportunity to post your successes every day.

Five days a week (Monday to Friday) you are also going to start seeing survey questions. Every day will have a specific theme, and they will go as follows:

Monday: Fitness

Tuesday: Relationships

Wednesday: Healthy Eating

Thursday: Sharpening the Saw (self-improvement)

Friday: Positive Thinking.

I am also going to start posting photos and quotes that inspire me to the page. I am very excited to get this side project up and running. You can expect to see the first question tomorrow. The next step is to improve my twittering presence, and I will start work on that action plan this upcoming week.

The project is growing, and I want to thank all of my loyal readers for your support. I appreciate it so much!