I have recently decided to start experimenting with mindfulness so that I can better observe the times when I experience moderate to intense anxiety. The strongest of these anxiety-inducing thoughts is the thought that I may be able to make money based on my talent versus my time. Believing that I’m worth it is surprisingly difficult, and a little bit stressful. That you deserve to make a lot of money is a weird thing to convince yourself is true. Standing behind the reception desk at the gym today, I felt conflicting emotions. I value hard work, and yet with nothing to do I find myself mostly standing around… for 9 hours. I then begin doing other tasks unrelated to work. I work on my blog posts, I make extensive to-do lists for the week, and I research fitness related articles online. A part of me feels guilty because I’m not giving the company my full attention – but at the same time my “full” attention would have me standing around like a zombie staring straight ahead – that, or mindlessly gossiping with the other employees. I don’t want to feel like a prisoner, but that’s exactly how I felt today. I felt drowsy because my mind wasn’t being stimulated. Bottom line, I was bored out of my mind. Comparatively, writing these posts get me excited and make me feel awake and alert. I feel like I’m making a difference (however small) when I write these posts. I am making an impact on the world around me. As I stood behind that desk today, I really felt like I was wasting my time.

Then I started reading a blog post by Steve Pavlina called “10 Reasons you should never get a job.” This post really got me thinking. I spend 80 hours standing behind that counter every month, and what do I get for that time? Just over $1000. Imagine the ways I could better use that time. Imagine the amount I could grow as a person if I used that 80 hours a month to improve. Imagine the online business I could create if I used that time to create a passive source of income. So I’ve come up with a plan. I’ve decided to write an e-book. I am going to give myself a month to come up with the idea and write it, and then I am going to publish it electronically and sell it on Amazon. What will happen? Who knows! But it’s exciting, and it is COMPLETELY outside of my comfort zone. I am going to publish something in the next month. I value hard work, and I value myself. I believe I can make a difference, and this next MASSIVE challenge is definitely going to prove it. Here we go people, things are moving forward. (Also, check out who I recently tweeted to about this blog —>)