Today this blog reached a milestones. I have received 4,000 views since I started this blog only a few months ago – I think that’s pretty incredible. Thank you so much, for all of your support. You’re e-mails and posts keep me going, and I truly feel like I’m making a difference.
So, a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I was looking for a job in the publishing industry. Well, over the last week and a half I’ve been applying all over the place. Today I received some encouragement that I’m headed in the right direction. I have been hired for a volunteer position as a student-life blogger for http://wileystudent.ca/ I will be writing a minimum of two posts per month for this website. The publicity and experience will only help to improve this blog, as well as my chances at future job prospects. The more places I’m published, the better. Besides, I think that it’s a great website and I’m super pumped to be apart of it.
Moving along, the focus of the next couple of weeks is “improving trust levels in the relationships in your life.”
I’d like to share a quote from “the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”
“When we truly love others without condition, without strings, we help them feel secure and safe and validated and affirmed in their essential worth, identity and integrity – this does not mean we become permissive or soft. That itself is a massive withdrawal. We counsel, we plead, we set limits and consequences. But we love, regardless.”
This is something that I’ve struggled with throughout my life. I’ve been so concerned with trying to make others love/like me, that I’ve forgotten that it’s a two way street. I’ve put others before myself, and based my own self-worth on my popularity. Sure, by being a pleaser I didn’t have any enemies… but I also didn’t demand any respect. I was a shape-shifter, constantly trying my best to suit the needs of others, while neglecting/ignoring the shape that suited me best. For me, part of improving the trust levels in my relationships with others, is going to revolve around being comfortable being myself around others. The relationships I value are made up of: honesty, silliness, respect, love, and dependability. The creation of this sort of a relationship can only occur when I stop trying to be someone I’m not, and allow for the possibility that I’m enough… just as I am.
This is what you have all taught me, and I’d like to impart the same words of advice back to you.
I’ve struggled with this myself. I’ve spent way to much time and energy pleasing others. It is not only that relationships are a two way street. I also think that if you do not take care of yourself, your needs and wants, you end up exhausted, bitter and resentful. And in that state you do not have much to give others anyway. So being yourself and taking care of yourself should always be a priority. And while it may sound selfish….in the end, it will also be better for everyone around us. I still struggle with this. But I am learning….:)
Thank you! It all just makes so much sense. I mean, I’ve spent most of my life trying to be the “perfect person” and it’s exhausting. I’m learning that it’s okay if others don’t agree with everything I do or say – and that others will probably respect me more if I do have my own opinion (although here I’m making it aboutothers AGAIN… small steps). If I were to step back and observe myself, i wouldn’t want to hang around with myself when I’m in people-pleaser mode,” and that’s not an insult on myself – because the people-pleaser is not me. It’s a difficult lesson to learn, but I think that it’s one that is definitely worth going after!