The fear returned when I got on stage. The night was designed in such a way that all of my classmates were on stage together for the entire night. As I stood waiting for my turn to perform, my heart beat slowly began to pick up speed. The beating was all I could concentrate on, it felt so loud. As my partner performed, I actually became concerned that the audience could hear my heart beating. Silly, but those were the thoughts racing through my head in the moment. Then, I stopped myself. I thought, once upon a time I did not know what to do with stage fright. I’d let my nerves over-take me, my voice would start to shake, and I would race through the material like a runaway train. That is not how a professional well-trained actress deals with stage fright. So I breathed, and thought about my objective. My monologue was quite long, so instead of thinking about the full journey I allowed myself only to think about the first beat. All that I needed to concentrate on was the first beat of this monologue. I heard my cue, I dropped my head down and saw the blood pouring out of me (in the monologue I have just been shot and I am fighting against death). Then, I began.

What separates the great actors from the mediocre? The great actors are not afraid of failing. They are not afraid of becoming so consumed in their work that for a brief moment they forget that it’s pretend. The great actors are not afraid to allow their imagined realities to become truly real.

I have to say that all of the things I’ve performed thus far, I am most proud of the work that I put into this character and into this piece. I never understood the detail that must go into bringing a character to life until I worked on Annie from Judith Thompson’s play “Sled” with the fantastic coaches at Vancouver Acting School. I have learned such an incredible amount in such a short period of time, not only about creating a character, but also about harnessing my fear. Now it’s time to focus this new found skill onto other areas of my life. I want to be a great actor, and so…the journey continues.