Week 2 of the Artist’s Way Challenge is about Recovering a Sense of Identity. The focus of the week is on learning how to trust yourself, and on defeating the negative thoughts which accompany the rediscovery of your voice. Resistance is a powerful force, and often manifests itself through self-sabotage and procrastination. It holds us back by providing us with excuses and instilling fear into our hearts so that we can more easily avoid going after our passions.
At the start of the chapter, Julia Cameron says the following:
” As your recovery progresses, you will come to experience a more comfortable faith in your creator and your creator within. You will learn that it is actually easier to write than not write, paint than not paint, and so forth. You will learn to enjoy the process of being a creative channel an to surrender your need to control the result. You will discover the joy of practicing your creativity. The process, not the product, will become your focus”
(The Artist’s Way, 44)
As part of my morning pages, I have been writing positive affirmations about myself as a creator, and listening very carefully for the negative self-talk which invariably accompanies any compliments I’ve aimed towards me. Through this process, I’m beginning to recognize how silly my arguments against my self-worth truly are. No proof exists to tell me why I can or cannot do something. Should you try this exercise, I think that you might come across similar results. When you realize how sloppy your negative self-talk truly is, it should become easier for you to ignore it.
One of the exercises at the end of Chapter 2 will help you to identify where this negative self-talk comes from in the first place. The name of this exercise was “Safety Map.” Here’s what you do:
SAFETY MAP
- Get out a blank sheet of paper, and draw a big circle.
- Inside the circle, name all of the people who have supported you in your artistic endeavors throughout your life.
- On the outside of the circle, write the names of the enemies of your creative self-worth.
- Add colours and/or illustrations to your diagram, and hang it somewhere you can look at it every day.
When I completed this exercise, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people I had listed on the inside of my circle. I was equally shocked at the difficulty I encountered in coming up with names to fill the outside of the circle. This exercise made me realize that the biggest enemy of my self-worth is probably myself. Suddenly I felt deeply ashamed. I realized that it was somewhat of an insult to those I’d listed as my support system, that I would even entertain the thoughts and feelings of those I’d listed as my “enemies.”
By taking away this irrational, and completed unwarranted, fear of judgement and failure, you too can open yourself up to the ability to simply enjoy the creative process. There is something sort of magical about creating art. This magic is dulled by our negative self-talk, but by recognizing these voices for what they are, and putting them in their place, you can undim the light and fall into the fearless creative state which you deserve to be constantly operating under.
Do this exercise yourself. I think that you might be surprised by the results.