I have a problem. I am stuck in my head. With every experience I find myself stepping back and analyzing every minute detail. This week I did an exercise where I logged all of my inwardly and outwardly judgmental thoughts, and it was an exhausting experience. It put me more in my head than ever, but in the process I discovered something very valuable about myself. Although I would consider myself a positive person, I have a tendency to focus on the negative in myself and (this is difficult for me to acknowledge) in others. I notice in others those qualities that I dislike in myself, and this recognition grows into a brick of resentment (growing in my chest) that makes it difficult to connect with those around me.

Sometimes in order to make significant change in your life you have to acknowledge those things that aren’t too nice about yourself. Nobody is perfect, and I certainly am no exception.

Immediately, upon making this discovery, I decided to implement a new habit into my life. With every person I encounter I promise to recognize one good thing about them. If I don’t know them, this will have to be an external quality, but if I do know them I’m going to make it internally based – like  a strength they possess which I admire.

It’s a vicious cycle – because I have a hard time appreciating myself I also have a difficult hard time appreciating others.

Living with abundance does not just refer to material wealth and money, it also refers to living with an abundance of love and happiness. One does not guarantee the other, but that does not mean they are mutually exclusive.

This is a big step for me, and although it’s difficult to acknowledge I can appreciate the fact that it’s a necessary next step in my growth as a person.

Is there an opportunity for growth in yourself that you have been either neglecting or ignoring? With this question in mind, sit down with a pad of paper or a blank word document and do some free association writing. Or even go for a walk. I read somewhere that we do some of our best thinking when our bodies are in motion.

You’ll know that you’ve hit upon something if the prospect of changing it feels impossible, but know that we are all capable of change and that anything is possible. You are at the wheel of your identity, and just because you were “this” type of person in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t be “that” kind of person in the future.