I am really happy to say that I am officially back in business. We wrapped on the feature film I was in yesterday, and I have spent today watching the pilot of “House of Cards” (which is absolutely excellent) and getting back into a normal routine.

This is going to be a short little post, but I just wanted to update you all on my first feature experience.

Throughout the whole process I definitely experienced some highs and some lows. 12 hour days can be exhausting, and part of my learning involved discovering how to keep my energy up. It really is a mind game. My third day of shooting was a particularly challenging day (in terms of the material), and by the time I got home that night I was run down and exhausted. I remember shrinking into my bathtub when I finally got home, and just about passing out. Thoughts raced through my head: “is this what I really want to do?” Crazy thoughts. Thank God I had a day off the following day. i wrote my morning pages, and examined what was going on in my head and realized that these emotions really came down to that pesky little thing called fear. I was afraid that I wasn’t enough. I was exhausting myself because I had yet to understand my place on set. The material was heavy, yes, but I wasn’t owning my own part in the story telling process. Part of what was exhausting me was that I felt like I was losing my voice in this (albeit small) machine that is the film set. That Thursday I reexamined my values and what I know to be true about myself, and I reentered that world on the Friday with a mind that was ready to work, and learn, and tell a story. I owned my power for the rest of the shoot, and guess what. I didn’t feel exhausted again. I also never allowed the thought “I’m tired” to enter into my mind again. I focused on feeling energized, and excited – and that’s exactly how I ended up consistently feeling.

I specifically remember a moment this past Monday when I looked around at the crew setting up the next shot, and I looked over at my co-stars and I thought to myself “this is where I’m supposed to be,” It was that moment of realizing that my life is heading in exactly the direction that it is meant to. I wrapped yesterday feeling confident in my abilities, but also humble to the fact that I still have much to learn if I want to play in the big leagues – which I fully intend to do.

I am excited and filled with gratitude for all that this experience has and will attract into my life. The people who I met on set are all remarkably talented, passionate, and driven individuals and I am excited to see them on sets in the future. Only hopefully the next time we will be getting paid.

Getting back to the blog. I will be starting back up with the Artist’s Way on Monday. Week 5 (rediscovering a sense of possibility). I’ve taken a necessary break from the course, but I’ve kept all that I’ve learned so far from this book close to my heart, and I’m excited to get back to it.

Thank you for your patience. Christine is back in business!