“Pick a colour and write a quick few sentences describing yourself in first person [as that colour].”

This is one of the exercises from week 8 of the Artist’s way. It’s as simple as it sounds. Pick a colour, and then explain why you’ve picked it. What does that colour mean to you? Here is my answer:

I am a deep and luminous fairy tale green. I am filled with wonder and open to the impossible. I arouse curiosity in those who cross my path. I am present and alive in the here and now.

I didn’t understand this exercise when I first completed it, but since I am reading “the power of now” and “the artist’s way” simultaneously I sometimes happen upon similarities between the teachings of both authors that gives me an aha! moment. I’ll give you the quote first:

“Most people are in love with their particular life drama. Their story is their identity. The ego runs their life. They have their whole sense of self invested in it. Even their – usually unsuccessful – search for an answer, a solution, or for healing becomes part of it. What they fear and resist most is the end of their drama. As long as they are their mind, what they fear and resist most is their own awakening”

(page 182, The Power of Now)

This quote might be a little bit confusing if you’ve never been introduced to Eckhart Tolle’s teachings before, so give me a moment to elaborate. What he’s saying (as far as I understand) is that we are not our identities. We are a spirit, much like the spirit which exists in all living things. The difference between us and animals (for example) is that we are aware of our thoughts. Unfortunately, we have mistakenly come to believe that we are our thoughts, which is not true. If you could no longer think, judge, worry, etc – you would not cease to exist. Animals place no importance on the past and future. They just are where they are, and that’s all that matters. When you put it this way, doesn’t it begin to feel a little bit ridiculous that we place so much importance on our past and what happened to us at that point in our lives. The past doesn’t exist. All that you have is the present, and anything is possible in the present. Actually, anything can ONLY happen in the present, because the present is all that we ever have. What Tolle refers to as “awakening” is a realization that all of this is true, and that you are not weighted down by anything except yourself and your own mind.

This exercise forces you to identify with something outside of your identity. A colour.

Lately I have been really struggling with issues of identity. When I attended my auditions yesterday I wasn’t nervous but actually had a lot of fun. I enjoyed every minute of being in the audition, and I enjoyed waiting to audition, and I enjoyed leaving after it was over. I placed no greater importance on any part of the process, but just accepted where I was and acted accordingly. While this change in mindset worked extremely well, it definitely threw me off guard after I returned home and had a moment to reflect. But wait! That’s not who I am! That behavior of “enjoying auditions” goes against my identity. Does it have to? What is identity anyway? Identity is a fiction that is created by the mind. All that you can ever do is act according to your own knowledge, capabilities, and beliefs in the present moment. Who you “are” has only to do with the present, not the past.

That’s what this exercise does for you. It helps you to create an “identity” that is separate from your past by forcing you to “identify” with an inanimate object… a colour.I hope I’m not dragging you too deeply into the vortex, but this is where I am right now.

What are your thoughts on this?

What colour are you?