Since I got side tracked from doing this with my last post – here is my wrap up for week 10 of the Artist’s Way.
How many days this week did you do your morning pages? Has reading your pages changed your writing? Are you still allowing yourself to write freely?
I have FINALLY managed to re-integrate writing these pages into my routine. I’m glad that I did. Even though I have my weekly plan already set up at the start of the week, I’ve been using my morning pages to prioritize my day and make everything that I have planned to accomplished doable.
I’ve also been using my pages to explore some of my fears. Especially those fears that are related to the days goals. Sometimes I ramble, sometimes I’m thinking about how much I have left to write, but most of the time I’m able to let me fingers go wild. My pages are all over the place, and an outsider would probably experience some vertigo from reading my spinning thoughts – but they make sense to me.
Since reading my pages last week, I have started to focus on being a lot more forgiving towards my mistakes. This shift has resulted in a dramatic change in my energy – not physical energy, but spiritual energy.
Lately, I’ve just been really happy.
Did you do your artist date this week? What did you do? How did it feel?
I sort of did… okay, truthfully I sort of skimped on this one again. True I did some luxurious stretching and meditation on the beach – but I only named this my ‘artist’s date’ after the week had already ended. I didn’t really set aside some time and say ‘okay, this time is for my artist’s date.’
However, that IS what I’m doing this week. Tomorrow I have set aside 2 full hours in the morning to go for a walk with myself along the sea wall. Just a walk. Looking at the amount of time, I can feel my heart speed up and a panic starting to build. ‘That’s too much time… ahhh! – But I’m going to do it!! I’m going to spend 2 FULL hours with myself WITHOUT ANY distractions. This is going to be interesting.
Did you experience any synchronicity this week?
I had to really think about this one, but I actually think I do have something. On Friday I worked a 12:30-9pm shift at the gym and had the WORST time. I was in a horrid mood. When I woke up all I could focus on was that I was going to be at the gym all day and that it was going to suck. I was still in a bad mood when my shift ended, and when I got home I didn’t get anything accomplished because my spirit and energy were so in the dirt.
The next day something occurred to me. That experience was virtually identical to one that I had more than a year ago while working an identical shift at White Spot as a hostess. I literally started crying on the streets of Vancouver – I was so upset about having to give my entire day to a job that I hated.
Interesting. This parallel led me to re-examine my over all attitude. This led me to realize that although I have this blog, and although I talk about positivity and ‘how great it is’ an awful lot… maybe I’m not really all that possible.
This in turn has led to a complete overhaul on my paradigms, and the integration of a new habit that is yielding immediate changes
Were there any other issues this week that you consider significant to your recovery?
That hew habit is prayer. After my morning meditations I have been taking a moment to pray to the energy that surrounds me, and open myself up to the possibilities that could await me in the run of a day. I’m opening myself up to the possibility that the opportunity that changes my life could occur today.
The ‘religious’ nature of prayer made me very resistant to indulging in this practice at first, but while doing it I just have to remind myself of my own beliefs. It’s not that I don’t believe in a God like power. I’m just not a fan of the fear and the hate that most religions instil in their followers.
Since doing this morning practice I have started feeling much happier, and much more grounded and present. It is definitely a practice that I will be continuing.
On to week 11.