It’s such a strange experience to be down. Like really down.

On Saturday I woke up late (yes, I overslept). As I rolled out of bed I felt groggy and annoyed with myself. I think getting too much sleep is worse than not getting enough sleep. If you don’t get enough sleep, napping is usually enough to get you back on track (provided, of course, that you can find the time), but when you get too much sleep, there’s nothing that can really set you right again… except for another day and another chance.

Well, at least that’s how I felt. I took a cold shower and seemed to wake up for all of ten seconds, and then I felt “the cloud” form underneath my eyes. I stuffed some work into my bag, and then walked across the street for a coffee. As I worked on an upcoming audition, I felt myself begin to brighten – the cloud began to lift. I began to feel inspired and excitement started to peek its head out from the “shadows” (melodramatic?). And yet, as much as it lifted I could still feel this “pain body” (as Eckart Tolle would call it) underneath my fingernails and in the shallow wrinkles of my t-shirt. I couldn’t shake it.

I don’t get into these down spirals so much anymore, but when I do I’ve learned that they’re not great times to make decisions. You almost have to just let that emotion be, and understand that it will pass. Perhaps this is just part of the experience of being an artist. Or perhaps it’s what happens when you fall into the trap of taking your life too seriously.

Whatever it was, I’m glad it’s over.