Feminists like @kellyoxford are why I’m often ashamed of being a woman. Some of us actually use common sense and realism in our lives. — tweeted by @BluEyedGeek“

The whole conversation started on Twitter yesterday when Kelly Oxford slammed the new date rape nail polish – a polish that is designed to look like regular nail polish, but when you dip your finger into your drink, it will tell you if it’s been tampered with or not. It’s a great idea, but I am completely on the side of Kelly Oxford for this one: Why should we have to go to such extreme measures to protect ourselves?

“1 in every 5 women has been the victim of an attempted or completed sexual assault during college.” I’m lucky to be one of the four, and yet while attending the University of New Brunswick, I never walked home at night without my rape whistle clutched firmly in my left hand, and my keys jutting out from my knuckles on my right. This was not an extreme measure. The rate of sexual assault in Fredericton, where I went to school, is 85 per cent higher than the national average. In fact, the trail that connected the UNB and STU campuses was referred to as the “rape trail,” and a pay phone had been set up in the centre of the path for women who needed to call for help. Thanks…

I’ve since moved to Vancouver, BC. Now, although I feel safer, the disrespect that I experience as a woman on a daily basis certainly hasn’t gone away. Yesterday, while walking toward my apartment, a young man pulled his shirt up over his nipple and started hooting and whistling at me. I’ve learned how to ignore this sort of behaviour, and to walk by and ignore the whining cry of “oh come on! I was just having a little fun.” Is this the common sense that @BluEyedGeek was referring to? Because my common sense tells me that I have the right to be treated as a person, and not as a thing. My common sense tells me that I should have the right to receive an education without feeling threatened by my male colleagues. If the realistic expectations of a woman’s life necessitates the purchase of date rape nail polish, then something needs to change.  

“The average Western male’s ideal is a woman who freely submits to his domination, who does not accept his ideas without some discussion, but who yields to his reasoning, who intelligently resists but yields in the end.”

– an excerpt from The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir (1949)

Although a lot has changed since 1949, nothing has changed at the same time. Two weeks ago I started a new job as managing editor of Cella Magazine. Since graduating from University I have worked hard to earn a solid reputation as a writer and entrepreneur. All of this contributed to this job opportunity, and I’m extremely proud of this accomplishment.

“Hello Miss Editor and Chief.” That was the greeting I received from a young man who passed me as I worked at a coffee shop yesterday afternoon. We had chatted the day before as I waited for my coffee, and he had asked me what I did for work. Would a man have received the same greeting the next day? No. Because despite my accomplishments, I’m still a woman and he still saw me as sweet and beneath him due to my softness of my voice. Something inside of him felt the need to patronize me when he saw me again.

As women we shouldn’t have to roar to be heard. We should never have to defend ourselves against the argument of “you just think that way because you’re a woman,” and we shouldn’t have to go to extreme measures to protect ourselves from violence (call it “violence against women” “sexual assault” or “rape,” it’s all the same thing). Still, this is the realistic expectation of a woman’s life… even today.

So yes. I am a feminist, and proud to be.