I’m moving tomorrow.

As I write this I am sitting in the Breka Bakery on Davie street — with a giant to-do list that I don’t really have enough time to do — feeling a little disoriented, a little panicked and a little excited. My bedroom is filled with boxes, and the load of laundry I did this morning hangs on the drying rack in the corner, ready to be packed away. I feel like I should be doing something right now, other than writing this, but I felt the sudden need to express something. A feeling, I guess.

I did a lot of travelling this summer. The travel schedule on one of these trips was a little bit hectic. I flew from Nova Scotia to Vancouver on August 6th (arriving at around 4pm), and then flew out again to Colorado the next morning at 6:30AM. I didn’t get enough sleep that night, and I woke up exhausted but filled with the type of adrenaline you get when you’re afraid of missing a flight. I made it, and was soon flying over Vancouver. Then the paranoia began. What if this was a dream? In my exhaustion I became afraid that I had actually overslept and that I actually wasn’t on the plane but back in Vancouver still asleep. I was terrified of closing my eyes in case my paranoia was actually true. This feeling stayed with me until I woke up the next morning… safe and sound in my hotel in Colorado. Phew!

That’s sort of how I feel right now. It’s as if I’m floating in a dream of sorts.  Although I’m only moving  4.8k away, this feels much larger than my move from Fredericton, NB to Vancouver, BC. Everything will be different in one more sleep. When I come home from Ben Ratner’s class on Wednesday night, I will be walking to a new home, to a new bed, to a different life.

Up until now, everything has seemed pretty much the same. I’ve been able to trick myself into thinking that nothing is different, but of course that’s not true. Deep breath.

I just booked my hair appointment for next week and a makeup tutorial for the following weekend. A friend will be taking me shopping the week after (as I am somewhat fashion illiterate). Soon the girl I see in the mirror is going to even look different. Thank God for the support system I have around me. I know that this feeling is normal, and despite the discomfort I am breathing in every second of it in.

My new adventure starts tomorrow. Wish me luck.