I realized this week that I spend a little bit too much time contradicting myself when it comes to what I want -my desires.
What are my contradictions?

I want this lead role, but it’s very difficult to get – there is a lot of competition, and I’m just starting out. There are actors who are more known in this city that will get it over me.

I want to grow my blog, but once I start pushing it I’m going to get criticized for my opinions, and I don’t want to get criticized. It’s much safer to keep it small.

I want more money; I want to feel rich and abundant, but wealth involves hard work doing something I’m only semi interested in doing. I can’t achieve wealth by pursuing my own passions. Making money is tricky. I need to have a side job. As a creative you need to have a side job. I don’t know enough to achieve what I want to achieve right now.

I know what I want, but I can’t start asking for what I want until I know a little bit more. I have to wait, just a little bit longer. Then I can start asking.

I want to find love, but... men frustrate the hell out of me. The men I like either live somewhere else or seem to lose interest in me the moment I show interest in them. I don’t know how to be myself around the opposite sex without losing some of my power. I don’t know how to feel empowered in a relationship. And I’m too busy for a relationship anyway.

It feels good to put my contradictions in writing; by giving them voice they lose some of their power. “Stop contradicting yourself,” I whisper to myself… semi-gently.

These are my contradictions. What are yours?

Everyone does it, so I didn’t realize that it was a problem/flawed way of thinking. I didn’t realize that it was precisely these conditions that were keeping me stuck.

“Don’t talk yourself out of wanting something just because you haven’t figured out how to get it” said Abraham (Esther Hicks). When you want something you need to release “the resistance” not “the desire.”

I’ve been leaning, no PUSHING, against resistance. I haven’t let go of my desire, but I also haven’t let go of my belief that achieving my desires is hard.

The 85 richest people in the world have as much wealth as the 3.5 billion poorest says an article in Forbes. What does that mean? I could look at that statistic and get incredibly disempowered – even angry – or I could look at this stat another way. I could ask this question:

Who am I following?

Am I repeating the habits of the 3.5 billion poorest, or the 85 richest? Whose thoughts am I sharing?

“When the energy you’re projecting matches the words that you’re offering, oh, what an impact you can have.” – Esther Hicks (Abraham).

How do you release the desire to contradict yourself? I personally feel uncomfortable voicing what I want with out adding on a contradiction. Like I’m lying to myself in some way.

I almost wrote, “it’s going to be hard for me to release this way of thinking” but that’s a limiting belief too isn’t it – man this rabbit hole sucks.

So how do I want to conclude this blog post? I guess by saying… it’s going to be easy. Life is easy. Life is joyful. Life is fun. It’s okay to want what I want, and the process of achieving what I want in this life is going to be so fulfilling and exciting.

It’s going to be an adventure. A remarkable adventure.

View the Abraham (Esther Hicks) video I quoted above by following this link.