Sometimes creativity feels like magic. I don’t know where it comes from, but the desire to express my thoughts and my internal world moves through me like steam. If I don’t open the lid, the desire starts to boil. It will burn me if I don’t let it breathe; give it life.

The frantic typing of my fingers sometimes feels incredibly separate from myself – a different version of me lives in my hands. I’m a gemini. Maybe my twin lives in my hands? I don’t know enough about astrology to know if that makes sense. But what I do know is that living without writing, for me, would not be possible. The heat inside of me would overwhelm my senses, and I would burn from the inside out.

Is that what is meant by the phrase burning desire?

I start every post with an idea. There is so much that I want to explore in my life, and writing guides this exploration. I never know how something I write will end. In a scene (for acting), the character should always be in a different place at the end than they were in the beginning. Something should have shifted.

I think the same is true of any art form.

When you start the process of creation, you’re one thing…. when you finish, you’re another. Every time you begin a creative act, you run the risk of change and growth.

Creativity is risky, because you don’t know who you’ll be on the other end.

I flesh out my thoughts as I write. I approach them from different angles. I try on different metaphors – deleting most of them when they become too strenuous. A metaphor can be a great way into a concept, but it doesn’t necessarily need to stay (the one I started this post did, because I loved it).

What do you love about acting? asked a cast member of a show I did about a year and a half ago. “It’s magic to be out there,” I responded. I still believe that.

And yet, to make the magic work you need to do the work.

You need to practice your art. Without skill, the magic doesn’t work. Writing feels like magic to me now because I do it every day.

I don’t feel that same effortlessness in acting. The magic feels more sporadic and spontaneous. I don’t think that’s a good thing. I can be incredibly unpredictable as an actor. I’m not in control of how my art manifests. I don’t know when it will show up… or if it even well.

That’s because I haven’t been as disciplined in acting as I have in writing. I haven’t committed myself to the art of what I’m doing. I’m changing that now.

When you believe, you do the work. Without belief there is only spiteful hope.

Why not me?

I’ve discovered that this question can be directed at no one but yourself. If you want it to be you, then believe it can be. And show up everyday knowing that one day it will be.