I think we all need days like that once and awhile.

For over a week I’ve been stuck in a depression. That hasn’t happened to me in a long time. I was feeling discouraged by my dreams and by the stories that I couldn’t seem to stop telling myself. I was having anxiety about the future and events that hadn’t even happened, and might not ever happen. I was feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the task ahead of me: what I want to accomplish and who I want to be.

Can you relate?

I want to be able to express myself verbally the way I do through my hands. My hands are brave. They’ve been speaking for me since I was in grade 3. They’re expressive and observant. They love metaphors, and they get a kick out of expressions of thought “they never expected to write down” (thank you Sylvia Plath for that one).

In the midst of my depression, people started coming into my life in synchronistic ways (funny how that tends to happen).

My friend Julie Lynn gave me the incredible gift of an energy healing session. We talked about my relationship to God, and how it was essentially non-existent. We talked about belief and faith in something bigger than ourselves – something that wants to carry us; help us; guide us towards true joy and fulfillment. Work can only take us so far. At a certain we also have to let go, and receive.

After meeting with Julie, I did something that I haven’t done in a long time: I prayed. Let me preface the following section with this: I am not ‘religious.’ That word holds negative connotations for me. But, two night ago, I sat in bed, put my hands together, and I asked for help. I asked for strength. I asked for guidance. And then I listened.

I didn’t hear anything, but I did fall asleep with a great sense of calm. After almost a week and a half of waking up into vacancy (ie. Depression), I woke up the next morning feeling like myself again. Thank frigging god.

Prayer is a really difficult subject for me, but I feel like (at this point in my life) I can learn a lot from letting go and listening.

So today is a dreaming day. Fear, doubt, and uncertainty are not allowed. Just joy, excitement and a breathtaking views of…. what’s coming.

How long has it been since you had a day like that?