Do you know what’s amazing? What’s amazing to me is the way in which we interact with the world.

I love to eat, and yet when I have food in front of me I can hardly get it into my mouth fast enough. Enjoying my meal in the moment is something I don’t do – I’m too excited to find out what the last bite will taste like to stop and appreciate the first and middle bites. I am just such an impatient person when it comes to food. A part of me wants to just eat and get it over with – and yet over and over again, after I finish my meal, I find myself immediately returning to the kitchen for another snack. Since I rushed through my meal, even if I’m satisfied, I missed the pleasure of tasting my food. The experience began and ended too quickly, and so I snack, rush through my snack, and then snack some more. It really is a vicious cycle, and I’m really lucky that I have such an efficient metabolism.

Eating is just one of many times where I struggle to stay in the moment, and I’m sure I’m not alone. I also struggle to stay in the moment during/while:

Exercising

Of course it makes sense that you would look forward to the end of your workout – exercise makes you sweaty, tired, and sore … but it can also be fun. Try smiling while you run, I tried this and I was surprised at how much faster I was able to run with so much less effort. Also try allowing yourself to enjoy the experience of feeling your feet push off the ground, activating your muscles,  and propelling my body forward. The experience of running can be exhilarating if you let it. Just like you can choose to be happy, you can choose to enjoy your workouts – and not just the after high. Try marveling at what your body can do. Appreciate and get excited about the improvements you’re seeing in your fitness. Also, do something you enjoy. Try doing a sport, or doing a class. Dance, kickboxing, Tennis, swimming – there’s so many options. You should be enjoying every second of your life, and your workout time should not be exempt from this.

During class, while spending time with friends and family, Reading…

My mind is a wandering machine. Even when I’m doing something that I love and enjoy doing, all I can think of is all of the other things I should be doing as soon as I’m done doing the present thing.

“I’ll probably hang out with this person until 12pm, which means that after that I have an hour to get home and get started on my blog post, and then the next 15 minutes I’ll do some voice work, then eat, and then maybe I’ll take 15 minutes to relax. Oh, and then I want to read up to page 185 in my book… that’ll probably take me about an hour and half, and after that…”

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that this is how my mind works. I’m always 20 steps (sometimes even days) ahead of myself. I try to plan my days and minutes so precisely, that when I am met with an unexpected occurrence (usually someone inviting me out to do something “fun”) it throws me off.  I don’t want to do it, because it interferes with my plan. In fact, even considering doing it makes me anxious as I think about what I had planned to be doing instead. I realize that this is a problem – which is precisely why I’m bringing it up. What do you do after acknowledging that you have a problem? You fix it.

My problem isn’t so much that I enjoy working on my craft, it’s that I have difficulty staying in the moment as I go through my day. I have trouble appreciating the little moments, and the little conversations, and the moments where I learn something I didn’t know before. Every second you’re alive is a miracle, and I want to start treating my life as precious, and appreciating everything I encounter. Whether I’m experiencing anger, love, jealousy, curiosity – every emotion is amazing, because they prove that you’re alive. I have so much more that I want to talk about in regard to this topic, but I’ll save that for tomorrow because I feel like I’ve gone on long enough for today.

I haven’t posted in awhile, because over the past few days I have been consumed with anger over a matter that I realize had nothing to do with me. What the experience did teach me, is that it’s important for me to stand up for myself and for my values. Yeah, in the moment maybe it feels better to avoid an uncomfortable situation – bit it certainly doesn’t feel good afterwards when you realize you sold yourself out so that you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Sometimes living in the moment means confronting emotions that you’re uncomfortable with, but it’s all part of the process.

Tomorrow there are two things I want to focus on. I want to focus on staying in as mindful a state as possible, and I also want to spend the day thinking about my ability to change the world and those around me. I think they’re both related. I look forward writing, and telling you about this experience tomorrow.