Over the past several weeks, I’ve been carting around this giant book on personal training.

I want you to be honest with yourself right now. Dig deep. What’s your passion? Are you doing it? Are you living your passion? Many people are not, and I realized last night that I was using this giant book as an anchor to prevent me from doing what I really wanted to do: act and write. In short, I was afraid.

I slowly began realizing that every time I sat down to study, I experienced this feeling in my chest. I can’t quite describe it. It was an unsettled feeling. I also heard a voice in my head, but not the voice that I’m used to speaking with. It’s not the voice that loves to discourage me. It was a different voice (I’m reading over what I’ve written, and I sound like a crazy person…but let me continue). I think I’ve been hearing the voice of a much younger Christine. The voice of the Christine who used to carry around a little notebook of poetry when she was in grade 4, and wanted to be the youngest novelist ever in grade 5. I was hearing the voice of the Christine who watched the classmates who had gotten cast in the Christmas concert play, and said to herself “I can do that.” Although I am interested in nutrition and fitness, it is not MY PASSION. The feeling in my chest was my inner artist screaming to be allowed to express herself. My fear of not being able to make it as an artist is what led me to work at being a personal trainer – but I’m not passionate about training people. That’s not what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to be an actor, and I’m supposed to be a writer. I am a story teller, and this week I have finally allowed myself to recognize this fact.

So I’m returning those books to the library, and I’m picking up my books on voice, movement, writing, and acting. That’s where my attention should be focused, and that’s where it will be focused for now on.

Take a good look at your life right now. Are you avoiding your passion by filling your time with something else. “I don’t have the time” is such a convenient excuse… but I’m not going to be using it any more. I do have the time to write. I just have to stop filling that time with fear.

Here’s the spooky part. The day after making this decision, I receive a phone call from my agent telling me that I have an audition tomorrow. My first professional audition. You have to make room in your life for the good things to come your way.