“Don’t take yourself so seriously.” God, if I had a penny for every time that I’ve heard that from my loving boyfriend… I hate to admit it, but he’s right.

Are you like me? (if you are, I’m so sorry):

1. Do you rarely do things solely because you find joy in them?
2. Do you regularly experience guilt about not following your very strict plan?
3. Are you sometimes judgemental towards others who are a little freer than you (jealousy may be at the root of this one)?

Guilty as charged, and let me tell you something: it doesn’t equate with a happy life. Despite the topic of this blog, I totally struggle with opening myself up around other people.  Laughing? I do it very rarely. Most days you can find me parked in front of my computer with a furrowed brow and a determined stare. Goals, dreams, and ambitions are always at the forefront of my mind, and I feel guilty when I am doing anything other than working towards these ends. So here’s the question, “what’s the point?” Will I ever reach an end? Will you ever get to that point when you can give yourself permission to laugh?

– will I/you ever have a perfect enough body?

– will I/you ever have a perfect enough job?

– will I/you ever be completely satisfied with where my/your life is right now?

– will I/you ever be satisfied and happy in the present?

I’m a little bit afraid that the answer might be no.

So then what is a perfectionist to do?

I have written more than my fair share of blog posts on this topic, but nothing seems to be working. Regardless of what I’ve told myself, I consistently choose guilt over abundance. I routinely choose work over play. I unashamedly choose judgement over acceptance. I want to pull my hair out because although I know that I NEED to change, the HOW seems to consistently escape me. I read self-help book after self-help book, but all this practice does is create MORE work and MORE confusion.

Despite this, I think I may have:

3 tips/tricks to help you to stay productive, while also giving yourself permission to play and experience life 

1. Let’s start with an affirmation. “My self-worth is not related to the amount of work I accomplish in a day. I am a worthwhile person, and I am deserving of success”

2. When planning your day, plan ONLY as much as you can REASONABLY accomplish in a day. This way when you do actually get everything you planned to done, you can celebrate a little bit.

3. When you “fail” in some way, don’t berate yourself. Acknowledge the mistake or misstep and then move on. Living in the present will rectify any self-debasing and self-sabotaging behaviour that results from these little mistakes.

4. Do something that makes you laugh (belly laugh) every single day.

When it comes to be being a workaholic, I’m probably the last person in the world who should be giving advice – but my intuition tells me that following these tips would probably make a difference. I’m going to give it a try. We’ll see what happens.