What if work wasn’t the most productive thing you could do in a day?
On Tuesday I had the amazing privilege of attending the Mixergy conference in San Francisco with The Crave Company. The topic of the conference: meditation and journalling and why they are an essential ingredient to success.
They approached these topics as if they were a hard sell. And they were.
In many ways these two habits are energetically feminine. Their results are hard to measure, they don’t accompany any feeling of urgency, and they have a weird stigma attached to them. They feel new agey and bubbly… yep, that’s the word I’m going with.
And by ‘energetically feminine’ I don’t mean that they are ‘female-only’ habits. In Marion Woodman’s book ‘Addiction to Perfection‘ she breaks down the difference between masculine and feminine energies like this:
Positive masculine energy is goal-oriented and has the strength of purpose to move toward that goal. It disciplines itself to make the most of its gifts – physical, intellectual, spiritual – attempting to bring them into harmony.
The feminine has its own rhythms, slower than those of the masculine, meandering, moving in a spiral motion, seemingly turning back on itself, but inevitably attracted to the light. It finds what is meaningful to it and plays. It may work very hard, but its attitude is always one of play because it loves life.
Both of these energies are important.
Sometimes, when listening to podcasts, I hear the interviewee talk about the strictness of their daily regime. It feels like these successful people are just working all the time. And I tried that. I turned into a workaholic. I cut out joy. I felt guilty every time I wasn’t at my computer. The phrase ‘Be Productive’ ran circles around my head as if on a conveyor belt. But no matter how hard I worked, the results were not accompanying my effort.
Looking back, I think that’s because I was missing an important step: reflection.
First, let’s increase the value of reflection.
What’s that quote by Albert Einstein? “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Yep, that’s what I was doing. I wasn’t examining what I was doing, or readjusting my effort based on the results I was actually producing. One of the reasons for this was I didn’t really believe in growth.
“Everything could change in an instant.”
Now, I repeat that to myself often throughout the day. I’ve learned that opportunities can seemingly come out of nowhere. An intense moment of real connection can slap you in the face when you least expect it to. Life is spontaneous. A giant unknown hangs over everyday, but I think we tend to try to mask that unknown with the surety of an autopilot routine.
Even though journalling and meditation could become apart of routine, they cannot be done on autopilot. They can only be done effectively in a state of presence.
I used to do these things to cross them off a list, but I quickly realized that these habits only start to become effective when:
- You understand how their continued practice could help you in your life (you will have to find your own reason).
- You’re practicing these habits with the intention of growth; the intention to move forward in some way – small or large.
Second, You HAVE TO BELIEVE that you can grow
In Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck says:
“Success is about stretching yourself. It’s about becoming smarter, not being smart already… The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”
This definition of the growth mindset stands in opposition to the ‘fixed mindset’, where you believe that you are who you are, and your effort doesn’t make a difference.
I have a fixed mindset in a lot of ways.
Effort is scary. Last year I committed to practicing vocal exercises every day. I actually kept my commitment for a few months, but then I got discouraged. I didn’t believe in myself. I was crossing it off a list. I wasn’t entering into each vocal session with a spirit of adventure or possibility. I started each session as if it was a chore. I didn’t actually believe that I could ever strengthen my voice.
“The first musical theatre teacher I had informed me in front of the entire class that I had “the worst singing voice” he had ever heard. Needless to say, that felt horrible and humiliating… But my desire was greater than my humiliation, and I kept studying and exercised my voice two to four hours every day. By the time I was twenty years old a raw talent that had been lurking beneath the surface, unable to reveal itself because of fear an lack of technique, emerged. I actually began to have a career as an actor and I achieved a dream – working on Broadway.” – Larry Moss.
Larry Moss did believe that continued and consistent effort could change his external reality. I mean, just imagine the effort. 2 to 4 hours a day? You would have to believe in yourself in order to put in that sort of work. How could you not?
Journalling and meditation are not a waste of time.
They are essential ingredients to success. I believe that they are two of the most important things you can do in a day.
It’s not all about work, and these practices force you to centre yourself, really look at your patterns, and remind yourself of your goals. I think these are the habits that make persistence possible. I think by practicing these habits in a state of presence, we can remind ourselves that growth is actually possible.
But the reason I think it’s so hard to practice them is the same reason I think it’s hard to practice or stick to anything. It’s hard to imagine growth when you’re looking at your current reality, income, body weight, and feelings. It’s a catch 22, and I don’t see anyway around it.
You just have to believe in the process.
You have to believe in your effort.
You have to believe in yourself.
I don’t really know where the strength to do that comes from, but I do believe that it exists somewhere inside of all of us.