What obstacles prevent you from applying the win/win paradigm (a paradigm is the lens through which you see the world). Examine this list, and determine what obstacles can be eliminated.

Yesterday I realized that my most significant obstacle is my flawed belief that I’m not enough, and that I’m not deserving of the life that I want. In conjunction with the Happiness Advantage 21 day challenge, I have decided to also try a little experiment. This morning I watched an Oprah Interview with Rhianna, and something that Rhianna said really stood out. She said “sometimes you have to fake it to make it.” That got me thinking. Even if right now I struggle to believe that I am worthy of the success I desire, what would happen if I faked it.

I would like to take this opportunity to revisit the mission statement I wrote for myself awhile back.

“As a mindful, brave, confident, health conscious, and silly individual, I grow and improve by 1% everyday. I always work hard and dream big. I love, trust, and laugh with the many supportive people in my life, and I am always excited to make new connections with like-minded individuals. I am capable of (and deserving of) greatness, and I am attracting amazing things into my life every day.”

My mission statement outlines not achievements, but the qualities that the person I want to be possesses. Over the next 7 days, I am going to “pretend” like I have mastered all of these qualities, and that I am exactly the person I want to be.  So to break it down, here are the qualities I want to possess:

1. Mindfulness
2. Bravery
3. Health Conscious
4. Confidence
5. Silliness
6. Hard worker
7. Big Dreamer
8. Lover
9. Trusting
10. Excited
11. I attract amazing things into my life every day

Greg and I made the decision to undergo this challenge yesterday, and it was only this interview that really cemented for me the possibility that this could actually work. Go for it for seven days, and then see how I feel Wednesday next week.

Today was the first day of this little experiment, and this is how my day has gone so far:

I rolled out of bed at 6:30am and made myself some brown rice porridge with bananas and almond milk. I sipped my morning coffee while I watched the above interview. I’ve also started doing morning pages again, from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, to organize my thoughts in the morning. So, I did some free association writing for about 15 minutes before jumping in the shower and getting ready for my day. I left my house at 8:15 and read on the bus on my way to school. Right now I’m reading What Are You Afraid Of? by Lavinia Plonka – but I’ll return to that on a later post.

School went very well. We were working on voice overs today, and I got a lot accomplished. I actually think I managed to drop my voice down to the lowest register I’ve ever reached. When I was working in the booth, I could actually feel a sort of click as my voice moved further down into  my body. It was a really weird feeling, but I instantly noticed a difference.

Later on, I booked a massage for myself for this coming Tuesday. My right shoulder is very sore, and since I’m covered under my mom’s health plan, I figured why not? My friend Katie gave me a wonderful massage during class, and I realized how much tension there was in my back. I think an hour massage will definitely release some of that tension, and will do wonders for my body and mind. Come to think of it, maybe it was that massage that allowed me to drop my voice down lower. If that’s the case, thank you Katie.

At lunch I enjoyed a delicious salad also made by my friend Katie, who was gracious enough to share her meal with me. Someone else I DEFINITELY need to thank in this post is my dear friend Charles. Charles and Katie did something very special for me yesterday, I haven’t quite finished reflecting on the gravity of their gift to me, but I should have something to say about the experience tomorrow.

After coming home I bought groceries for the week, made a nice dinner, packed the leftovers for lunch tomorrow, cleaned the kitchen, and then sat down with a nice cup of green tea to work on my screenplay. I wrote for about 2 hours – hammering out an even 9 pages (2 more pages than I had planned). I then laid down on the couch with Greg and watched an episode of “Community” (that show is really funny).

Now that you know what I accomplished, I’m going to very quickly go through some of the thought processes I became conscious of as I went about my day. I tried my best to stay positive, and smile. As I walked to school, I stood up straight and walked with a little bit of a skip in my step. I also tried my best to smile as much as I could. There was one incident, when I was in the elevator of my building, where I realized that I was feeling sort of mellow. I recognized that feeling, and made a conscious decision to smile. I instantly felt better.

Tomorrow, one of the things I need to work on is not trying to please those around me. I need to be confident in who I am, and not worry if people don’t like or agree with my opinions. Yesterday I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have the friends I have at this school. I am definitely blessed. I don’t have to worry about being judged in this environment. Actually, I don’t need to worry about being judged in any environment. Do you want to know something? I’m proud of who I am. Wow, as I wrote that I could feel tears starting to build up. I swallowed them in my fascination that they were coming that easily. What would happen if I said that sentence out loud to myself in the mirror in the morning, and then again at night before going to sleep?
Too many things I want to test. I think that for tonight, I had best just call it a night.